Love Has No Political Affiliation - Steven Crowder debates Sam Seder
by Bessarion
Summary: After a debate with Majority Report's Sam Seder, homophobic Steven Crowder recalls the traumatic event that shaped his whole life. Slowly but steadily Steven begins to soften his conservative views until he realizes that there is more to Sam than he ever imagined. How long will it take until Steven falls for the charismatic but dangerous progressive intellectual?
1. Brown People

It began with the demonetization of his YouTube channel and a few mean tweets. His revenues were still strong especially from the mug club. Conservatives loved his content and he loved their money. But the Carlos Maza drama was just the beginning of the slow deterioration of his mind. It did have an impact on Steven Crowder's psyche though he would never admit it in public. But that was nothing against the next shitstorm that would face him very soon.

An old meme began to surface again. "Debate Sam Seder" was everywhere, when Politicon leaked a mail that showed him, Steven Crowder, first crying and begging not to debate Sam Seder, then totally ghosting Politicon's requests. With Seder being a jewish intellectual it was pretty obvious that he had zero chance. In fact he was sure that in a fair debate format Seder would totally disgrace him to a degree that his reputation as the destroyer of college campus students would never recover. Because he didn't have any other skills to find a decent job, this would cost him everything: his beloved house and his new car - and he would rather die than being dependant on wellfare or his wife.

But the soy-fueled "Debate Sam Seder"-movement grew stronger with each time he dodged a debate. The riducule didn't even stop when he was sleeping. _You are not courageous enough to face a middle aged jew who likes facts and figures. You are a coward._ The voices in his head were restless. Conservatives turned against him. They insulted him. _You fag. You self-loathing homo. Why don't you run to your safe space, wussy?_ And Crowder would yell "Nooooo! Please! Leave me alone!" into the dark void of his mind until he woke up drenched in his sweat, curled up like a pathetic shrimp. These hellish visions became a routine - people looking like Michael Brooks were following him en masse, telling him to debate Sam Seder unisono. That was the last straw.

In secret Steven Crowder hoped that none of his followers were coming, but as always he was wrong. The chanting of slurs was audible even before he got out of his car. There were a lot of them and they greeted him enthusiastically on sight. That gave him a small boost of confidence. But the debate's topic was taxation and he knew that Seder was a natural expert. After all he was jewish, that must be good for something, he thought unironically. Maybe his goons would start a brawl, he hoped. Anything that gives me the edge over this libcuck.

He checked the location. At the side of the stage some people ensured that the mics worked and he weaseled his way over to them.  
"Hey, amigo! Wanna get some quick cash?", he asked the guys, some of which were clearly Mexicans. It was hard to hide his contempt for these parasitic lifeforms, but he was in a desperate situation and needed every help. They turned around to him with bewildered faces.

"I'm not going to suck you off, if that's what you want", one of them said in perfect English, then laughed. Crowder's face turned deep red. "Nooooo! Dude, you serious? Do I look like I have AIDS? Look, look - my voice, I had a cold. Can you turn the volume of my mic up a notch?", he began with a fake raspy voice.  
The workers looked at each other. "I don't think that we are allowed to do that."  
"I will pay. How much do you want?" The man that laughed at him before shrugged. "Don't know. 100 bucks?" Instantly Crowder disregarded the proposer and turned to another of his amigos. "You. Mustache. How much do you want? Can you understand me?"  
"Yes. But you should leave", he said politely. Crowder was fuming.  
"Since when do you care about rules? You brown people have no respect for the American pride or white people. You guys have papers? Where are your papers!?"  
"Isn't this kind of racist?", one of them murmured, then stepped back cautiously as if he knew he had triggered Crowder.  
"YOU are the racist!", Crowder exploded and threw his hands around in a theatrical fashion. "You only say that, because I am white. You hate my skin color, you are envious!", he continued with irritating high pitched voice. These guys weren't prepared for a confrontation with Crowder, after all Crowder had trained many years at college campuses. The title of the campus debate champion belonged to him, not stupid Ben Shapiro. They backed off like he was a dangerous venomous creature.

Crowder continued his anger-fueled tirade for a whole fifteen minutes and some guys from the security had to come to defuse the situation. This couldn't be any better, this was what he needed, a good old hate speech to boost his confidence. He was on fire, totally ready to face Sam Seder.

This was the first time Crowder laid eyes on Sam Seder in person. Seder walked on stage and sat down. And it was mesmerizing to watch him walk, every step was confident and determined like he had a clear plan of where to go. How does he keep this level of posture? Then Seder's observant dark eyes scanned him and he suddenly felt very vulnerable, almost naked. This man had an IQ of at least 140. But instead of disrespecting him, Seder was surprisingly civil. "It's nice to finally meet you, Steven." He reached out his hand to him. Maybe Crowder was perplexed by this man's vibes, but he passed the short moment to shake hands. It was akward for them both, but Crowder played it off like it was calculated. "Here I am, jewish man. I will destroy you - change my mind, Seder." His obedient goons gobbled it up.  
"You know, Crowder. That's a pretty bold thing to say for a man that dodged a debate with me for - was it like two years?" Laughter. Crowder repeated the sound bite in his worst Seder impression and the crowd went crazy.

The moderator carried the conversation forward to today's topic: taxation.

"All, right. Let's assume we have a suburban family. Wife, husband, kids - maybe even a Mexican servant. Never before did we have the same living standard. Education, healthcare, safety - must I go on? We have the best economy in a whole generation. And that is thanks to tax cuts."  
Seder disproved the nonsequitur easily, then the conversation shifted towards corporations. "The tax cuts went to the wealthy, everyone knows that. The point is, they already have an tremendous amount of wealth and income. And this wealth translates into political power, so that's a problem. More tax cuts benefit nothing but a system in which corporations gain even more power."  
"Steven? Your answer", asked the moderator. Visibly sweating Crowder took a quick glance at his crib. Taxation = theft - he turned the page around. Empty.  
"The radical left uses these arguments all the time - the American people are fine. Obviously. Of course there are tiny exceptions, but taxes especially hurt those who are already in debt. Just imagine a world where the small buisness in the neighbourhood doesn't have to pay the same amout of taxes. These taxes can make a big difference between gain or a deficit. It helps against unemployment rates. And with lower unemployment the US doesn't have to spend more wellfare for those that don't need it. In short, you could say that taxation is even unconstitutional", Crowder smirked in his typical fashion. He took a look at the crowd where some of them cheered for him. They seem to be on my side. Still smirking he turned to Seder that was looking at the ground with an expression of deep concentration. One could tell that there was a lot going on under his surface. Then his gaze met Crowder's and a chill formed in Crowder's body. His smirk evaporated instantly. Visibly startled Crowder started another attack: "Forget about any logical objections or couterarguments to things like taxation - the left doesn't care about those." "Okay, pause it." The crowd went silent and focused on Sam Seder. "This just shows that you know absolutely nothing. Let me teach you something about economy and politics."


	2. Objections of Same-sex Intercourse

He had always perceived Sam Seder as a cucky soy boy, but not anymore. Seder's tempting liberal ideas shook his very inner core. They evoked something in Steven Crowder that was long forgotten, something that he never dared to revisit. His compassion and his feelings, they began to surface again.

"Let me break this down. You know - trickle-down economics don't work. They never worked in the first place much to the distress of many people, especially those with ethnic background", Seder continued. Slowly but steadily the audience turned to Sam's side. "Also your appreciation for Reaganomics is hilariously unfounded. Everyone knows that there were higher tax rates than today." And with each knockdown Crowder was thrown further back in time to the moment when the incident happened. The incident that dictated his whole life, the moment when his heart turned into stone, the reason why he was a racist die-hard conservative in the first place. _It wasn't your fault mother... _

Crowder could literally see people putting their MAGA hats down, ashamed of how they have been fooled by Trump's propaganda campaign and the whole Republican Party. After an excruciating amout of time the first part of the debate was finally over. The spectacle wasn't even over and Crowder was already destroyed. Defeated Crowder stood up and walked to the toilets, his face frozen in a lethargic expression. But under that mask his very essence was squirming. _Am I crying? What is wrong with me? What are these emotions? _  
At the men's room he hid in one of the cabins. Soon it will all be over. I will just make up a silly story how I was blackmailed by a crazy sjw. Or Mexicans. That will show them. At the same time he asked himself why Seder's words had such an impact on him. Some of his ideas really resonated in him, but he would never admit it, because socialism is for fags. Son, you are a disgrace for this family, the shrill voice of his father resonated in his head. He had disappointed him once again. "Enough, father! Make it stop!", cried Crowder and ran out of the stall. On the way out the bumped into Sam Seder. Quickly he wiped his burning tears away and apologized while avoiding eye contact. He winced when Sam got a hold of his arm.

"Wait, Steven." His grasp was firm and determined. "What?", Crowder asked. Real tension was in the air. "This was not personal, I guess." Sam released his hold. Maybe Crowder expected something different from his mouth. Maybe an apology. But this nonexcuse triggered him.  
"Yeah, so? You humiliated me in front of my whole fanbase." His voice became over the top dramatic, a sure indicator that Crowder was riled up and angry. He shoved Seder against the wall, but instantly regretted that. Instead of being triggered or afraid Sam Seder came close to his ear. "Uhm - why do you hate liberals?"  
"Easy. Liberals are responsible for 9/11. Liberals are the true racists. Society would flourish without them."  
"Well, isn't it internationally agreed that the 9/11 incident was triggered through military foreign intervention of the Bush administration?" While he spoke in his typical slow paced fashion to explain him very basic facts, Crowder had only eyes for his lips. They look so soft. I wonder if he uses lip balm. But he quickly collected himself when someone entered the toilets and walked past them. "Enough with your nonsensical ideas. I will not get humiliated or destroyed by you in front of an audience again. Mark my words!" "And without an audience?" Face to face and discreetly smiling this middle aged jewish man put his hand on his shoulder. Crowder gasped. Never before had someone flirted with him so openly. "I - I don't know ... I mean, of course not! Dude, I'm not a fag. I'm married", he muttered and showed his wedding ring, but his objections were so unconvincing that Seder broke out in a laughter, then gently slapped his face. "I'm just kidding, you fool." He left Crowder standing with shaky legs and an enormous high blood pressure.

Like he was fleeing from a crime scene Steven Crowder rushed out of the building where he was greeted by the night. His breathing was heavy, the fresh air filled his lungs and the oxygen helped him to process what just happened. This had been too intense, it was obvious that there was some kind of chemistry going on between them. But he had never been attracted to men or was he? There was no denial that Sam Seder had attractive features. His well-groomed graying hair was certainly a highlight, but nothing was as beautiful than his sparkling eyes accentuated by the frame of his glasses. Though he was not attractive in the usual sense (he was neither a Dan Crenshaw nor a Richard Spencer) he emitted something that Crowder has never seen in his life. Intelligence. This made him stick out from the competition. Together with his attitude, his work ethics and his perfect paced line delivery, he was truly a gem. A dangerous, liberal gem, but still very hot. Sam was lighting in a bottle. Too bad that I am 100% straight. But there was no way that he would return to the debate stage.

The following days Steven Crowder didn't dared to use the internet. They would make fun of him nonstop anyway. At least he had something to look forward to, because all would be forgotten after the next shooting and everyone would jump on NRA. But one thing stayed longer on his mind than he wanted. His craving for a "platonic friendship" with Sam Seder grew stronger every day and with it his confusion. People around him began questioning if there was something wrong with him. Usually he ignored these questions except when his wife asked. On a good day he would tell her: "Shut the fuck up, Hilary. Are you on your period again? You are useless." There was only one person besides Sam Seder that would understand him. Someone equally as humiliated - someone that went through the same phase. Though that person never had a reputation in the first place. Dave Rubin.


	3. Male Body Standards

"I think we are going through very similar issues", Crowder said with an expressive gesture. Rubin gave his friend a beer while having a big smile on his face. Strangely it seemed like he was almost proud. "I'm so glad that you accepted yourself and decided to open yourself to me. I didn't understand it at first either. But we all go through similar things - just look at me now, I'm happily partnered."  
It took a second before Crowder realized what Rubin meant. "Eww - nooooo! You seriously?! Fags have AIDS. They are a total abomination (nothing personal). I'm not a lispy queer. I mean my debate with Sam Seder."  
"Oh, you meant your total annihalation." Dave giggled. "Yes, I've seen that with my hubby David. That's the reason I've blocked every tweet even containing Sam or Seder in the text." Crowder cleared his throat. "Wow, that hurt. And your husband is seriously named David? That's odd. If I would be married to a man named Steve I would totally kill myself with a fork. No joke." Dave laughed this off.  
"I'm so glad that we can talk freely about that. People on the left are always cherry-picking and labeling everyone a racist, homophobe or worse. But I've faced more discrimination from the left then from conservatives. Don't they have mirrors?" "I agree. It's hilarious how dumb some of these antifa-snowflakes are. Always triggered like little bitch babies."

They continued their talk about how hard it was being a conservative, in which ways Obama was comparable to Hitler and how socialism was so much deadlier to homosexuals than Nazi Germany. But the topic of the discussion naturally bounced back to Sam Seder. "Let's assume I am gay. Just for clarification, I am not gay. I'm not demonizing these people, but it's gross. Again, this is nothing personal, Dave. But hypothetically. Do you think I have a tiny little fraction of a chance with Seder?" He frantically circled his face with his finger. Dave tried to channel his inner critic, but he was neither familiar with contructive criticism nor with hypothetical thinking.  
"That's a hard question. In this hypothetical I consider you a funny comedian. Truly funny", he answered after a long and awkward pause. Crowder wasn't sure if there wasn't any irony hidden in that weird-ass compliment. "But am I good looking? Do I look good?", Crowder asked again. Dave shrugged. "Hypothetically? I mean it's too complex for me to say." It was obvious that Rubin was too incompetent to help him with that. But Crowder gave it another shot. "Am I too fat?" He looked down at his waist. Not exactly his ideal body size. His body had definitely seen better days. "Hypothetical?"  
"God, Dave. Stop behaving like a useless NPC. These aren't any high level ideas - just answer the goddamn question." Again, Rubin took his time to answer.  
"Aren't you married to your wife anyway?", he asked finally with every intent of dodging the question. Crowder ignored it. There were more important things going on in his life than Hilary. His body had his up and downs, but right now, he felt like shit, even she had mocked him and he will never forget the time when she poked him with a stick calling him a fat ass. "In this shape I will never get Sam Seder to like me." He gave a loud sigh then took another sip of his beer. Even alcohol seemed to be a better friend than Rubin.  
"What have you said? Why do you want Seder to like you? I thought you both hate each other." Confusion was on his face like a dim-witted weirdly cute puppy. "Of course we are talking about hypotheticals, dumb-ass! I'm not really into Seder."  
"Maybe do some work out? And what's with the casket that you are wearing all the time?" He pointed at Crowder's arm. "Honestly. Make out sounds good", he answered truthfully, then turned red after he noticed his Freudian slip. "I mean of course the act of going to a gym and lift weights." Just for deflection Crowder flexed his muscles in front of the gay guy. "Does this excite you in any way, Dave?", he asked teasingly.  
"Well... no. Besides I am happily partnered. But Seder isn't exactly the most attractive guy either. I think you've got a chance - in this hypothetical." This insult against Sam angered Steven. "You know nothing! You have to have a very high IQ to understand Sam Seder. His humour is extremely subtle and without a solid grasp of US politics many of his jokes will go over a typical listener's head. But you understand nothing, you and your kind are abnormal."

It was like Dave Rubin had a spam filter, anyhow Dave without getting upset in the slightest. He just began to talk again, but Crowder wasn't listening. He had to think of a reason to meet Seder again. _Maybe just ask him out? No, I can't do that. No homo._ He looked at Rubin and an idea began to form in his head. A really good idea. He slapped his fist on the wonky table. "I've got it, I've got the perfect plan. This is it. What if I would dress up as a woman?" He squeezed his breast like titties. "You mean like the time you dressed up as a fat ugly soccer mom? You are truly genius", Dave said without a whiff of irony.  
"Exactly. But you will have to play your part."  
"And? How can I help you?"  
"Debate Sam Seder. I will strike when he doesn't expect me ."  
"No! People call me dumb, but I'm not as dumb as I am. Why don't you debate him again?" Crowder shook his head. "No, I can't do it in front of my audience. It must be spontaneous and unsuspicious."  
"I don't think this works. I tell you what I'll do. I will phone him, then you will ask him out. Easy peasy." Rubin grabbed his cellphone and proceeded to dial Seder, but Crowder ripped his phone out of his grasp then threw the damn thing on the concrete floor. "Noooo! I know something better."


	4. Change my Mind

To appease Dave after he had broken his phone, Crowder had bought him a cup of bubble tea. In Dave's Mercedes SUV they waited until dusk while listening to Dave Matthews Band. Every now and then Crowder made sure that his hair looked good. A glance at his watch showed that Seder should be on his way home now. Dave Rubin was skeptic.  
"Why are you sure that it works now?", he asked.  
"He can't resist this. No one can."The alarm clock rang. 21:40 - Seder would arrive soon from his jogging route. And everything was prepared.  
"We have to hurry up now. Did you take care of the secret weapon?"  
"Yes", Rubin answered.

Both men sprang out of the SUV and started to build the "Change my mind" podium. There weren't many people around, just a few Mexicans, loonies and homeless people scattered around the park - just the usual trash of New York. But Dave quickly gathered their attention with a big batch of cash. With a crowd of audience they finally attached a sign to the podium which said: "Transpeople are mentally ill - Change my mind". Some of them turned around and walked away, others gathered around. Like the sign summoned her from the depths of hell a young female student came around and her intentions were clear before she even opened her mouth. Her sparkly neon-colored hair was bouncing around, she had a ginormous chest girth and walked around with an attitude of the queen of England. She was like the very impersonation of a radical leftist. And when she opened her mouth her deep manly voice catched the attention of the audience. "I demand a debate."  
Crowder turned around to Rubin. "Whoah, where did you find such a patty?" He winked.  
"She's actually a man named Markus from my AA-meetings. Don't get too hard on him."  
"Steven Crowder, I hate you! You are not cancel-culturing me", she shouted like a quarterback.  
"Easy, ma'am. Are you trans? Because you definitely seem mentally ill." Some people started to record their debate on their smartphones with some giggling in the crowd. _Even illegal immigrants have smartphones now - what a sad day for American culture._  
"This is none of your buisness. You hater. You hate me and my people. Why?!", Markus cried, eyes filled with hatred. Crowder smirked. That was some pretty damn convincing acting.

"I don't hate trans people. It is just evidently clear that trans people have some mental issues. To normalize this would normalize mental illnesses to our future generation. Suicide rates would go up." Markus stomped angrily. The crowd was in total awe of that spectacle.  
"You mistake transgenderism with autogynephilia. It is the autogynephilia that is pathological. And the best way to cure it is hormone therapy, Mister Crowder. It's an easy fix."  
After some back and fourth it was evident, that Markus was prepared for this. Too prepared. Just when he began to lose the audience, the sweaty head of Sam Seder poked out from the crowd and added to the derailment of his whole focus.  
"Pronouns are biological", repeated Crowder, but the crazy trans-feminist easily disproved his argument. "No it's not. We usually don't check our chromosomes when we talk to each other. Besides pronouns were used long before the dawn of micro biology. Therefore pronouns cannot be biological."  
"I agree, but you are strawmanning me now. I didn't say that pronouns are biological. But I said they should refer to biological sex. Trans are such a minute minority, I'm just saying that society shouldn't adapt to them."  
Heads were shaking. They were disagreeing with him once again. And Markus continued to hammer him down with pro trans-athletes arguments with no mercy. But only one in the crowds seemed unfazed by all this turmoil.

The audience started to disperse until there was only Steven and Seder. "It was great fun - uhm - watching you getting slammed again and again", he began slowly then cleared his throat. Dave Rubin stood quite some distance away and observed them. After determining that everything went according to plan, he walked back to his Mercedes SUV with a dumb grin. Crowder formed a silent "Thank you" then he turned his attention back at Sam Seder.

"To my defense - I'm more a comedian than a debater."  
"But wasn't that your whole shtick? To debate young students? Destroy them? Or was that Ben Shapiro?"  
"Please". Steven Crowder whispered. "Don't ruin this moment for me."  
Sam smiled charmingly. A drop of sweat ran down his attractive ashkenazi jewish face. His hotness level went right over the roof, but Crowder tried the best to surpress a moan.  
"Is everything alright? Does something hurt?", Seder asked and moved his intense gaze over Crowder's casket. It was like an old vinyl played "How Deep is Your Love" in Crowder's head.  
"My arm is fine, I guess." With utmost caution Sam grabbed his arm. "They say I have an almost magic touch." Both men stared longingly into each other's eyes. Crowder bited on his lip. This was almost an invitation. Maybe now is the time.  
"I can't believe what I haven't seen with my own eyes", he responded flirtily.  
"You mean like the Mueller Report?"  
"Yes."  
_Now shut up and kiss me._ Crowder bended forward and closed his eyes.

His high hopes were disappointed. Crowder opened his eyes. Seder was still there, but he seemed hesitant. "What is wrong?" Suddenly he came much nearer to Crowder, so close that Crowder held his breath in response. "I don't think you are ready for this. I am not the man that you think you know." "And what kind of man are you?" Crowder wanted him, there were no other words for this craving. Sam Seder gave him a gently smile, but there was a certain sadness hidden under his kind fassade. "I have great doubts. But I can wait no longer." In a quick motion Sam grabbed Steven's collar and pulled him to him. And with it their lips finally met like they have been lovers for ages. It was an epiphany - this was the right way - the only way to kiss. It felt so natural how each of their lips complemented each other, completed each other. And Steven greedily inhaled Sam's musk and with it every fantasy in his head was updated. He was his happiest self in months. But almost forcefully their magical connection was severed. "Pause it." Sam drawed his lips back and for a moment he looked very vulnerable.

"What - what's wrong?" Crowder's voice cracked.


	5. Media Bias

Suddenly Sam came much nearer to Crowder, so close that Crowder held his breath in response.  
"I don't think you are ready for this. I am not the man that you think you know."  
"And what kind of man are you?" Every inch of Crowder wanted to lay his hands on this beautiful man, there were no other words for this craving. Sam Seder gave him a gently smile, but there was a certain sadness hidden under his kind fassade. "I have great doubts, you know? But I can wait no longer." In a quick motion the jew grabbed Steven's collar and pulled him to him. And with it their lips finally met like they have been lovers for ages. It was an epiphany, an explosion of feelings – this, Crowder knew, was the right way - the only way to kiss. It felt so natural how each of their lips complemented each other, completed each other and for a moment I seemed like everything on this immigrant infested planet was only about them being together. And Steven greedily inhaled Sam's musk, absorbed it and with it every fantasy in his head was updated. He was his happiest self in months. But almost forcefully their magical connection was severed. "Pause it." Sam drawed his lips back and for a moment he looked unfazed.

"What - what's wrong?" Crowder's voice cracked.  
"I really can't explain..." Sam gave him a sad smile. „I've never imagined that you are such a good kisser …"  
He exhaled violently. "I've got to go now." With these words he started to jog away, leaving Crowder standing all alone. "No homo", shouted Crowder in desperation, now tearing up, but Sam was already out of reach. His dream in crumbles he sat down on the ground. What now? What next? Was it possible to win his affection back?

His mourning was interrupted by a young voice behind him. "Haha. Wow, what fucking homos!", the voice said. For the first time in his life Crowder deciced to stand up to homophobia. Something in him told him that it was the right thing to do. He wanted to change. "What have you said? We are no dirty fags!" He turned to the speaker, his eyes like piercing flames and his fist turned into a weapon of mass destruction. Just after he landed his brutal punch he was aware of his fatal error. The supposed guy he hit was none other than a muslim girl in a wheelchair. Steven Crowder was in total shock. While the radical muslim still recovered from the punch, Crowder quickly left the crime scene only leaving his podium behind ...

Shit, shit, shit. Sam would never give me a chance after this. Why did it have to be a goddamn wheelchair bound female muslim?

The word of Steven Crowder beating up an immigrant in the park spread like the Colorado wildfires. Islamophobe, racist and nazi - the sjws used every derogatory term to slander his name. But they all ignored the hard facts. Crowder did it for love, one could call it even standing up for homophobia. He was the real hero. The crooked media twisted the story around until he was the absolute worst guy in human history, even worse than Trump, and his victim - apparently a very nice girl named Alanya bin Abdulaziz - was almost declared holy. Only he knew: that dirty carpetkisser was the true evil. A godless homophobe hiding under political correctness and her wheelchair.

The impact of this punch was massive. His hand still felt numb and this was the first time the idea came to him that something may be seriously wrong with it. But worst of all was the new video of Majority Report with Sam Seder. It reported the incident with every detail and the whole crew was ridiculing him how racist and stupid it was. "Stop it. Uhm - this may be the worst thing he has ever done in his career. I cannot fathom ... this is just the typical day in the life of Steven Crowder." Seder shook his head in disbelieve. Was he sad? If so he hid it really well.

Day turned into night and the internet hated him more with each passing minute. Should I apologize? No, I can't do that, they won't believe me anyway. He cried, shouted at his stupid wife, then cried again.

Next morning wasn't any better. To numb his pain Crowder watched Make-Up tutorials and played Let's Dance. But inbetween these activities were periods of pure despair. He thought of revenge, he thought of apologizing, he thought of ignoring everything and leaving the US, leaving everything behind. But there was one thing holding him back, someone that he really liked. His wife Hilary wouldn't care anyway if he had an elopement with another man. She only cared about her dumb book-club. She didn't even read "Twelve Rules for Life" the book he gifted her for her birthday two years ago. She was the worst.

"Leave with me, Sam", he wrote on a piece of paper. "To the end of the world." He would even follow Seder to Venezuela if Sam really wanted.

Video after video the left bashed him and it was especially sad to see Sam Seder getting on the hate train. "Crowder? The sad part is that Crowder isn't even done after this. There are openly racist lunatics that still support him." After the seventh video Steven couldn't stand the biased media narrative anymore. But how could something be changed that was so clearly in favor of the status quo? _If you can't beat it, join it._ There was no hope for a conservative - every narrative was against them. _If only Breitbart was national news_, he thought. He knew that these were dangerous socialist ideas, but right now he wanted to see the world burning. He didn't care if the country was getting fucked by Stalin 2.0. It was time to go outside and he knew exactly where to find the origin of the evil. He faced the campus sjws many times, but he never dared to enter their unholy library. This was the place. The place for revenge.


End file.
